Perhaps

There's nothing left to say;

2009-08-23T15:36:19Z

yknw god, i surrender, i really do. I'm tired of running away, and lying to myself and telling myself that your gonna make things work. Each time i ask for something, you just make something go wrong more. & When i pray for something to go on well, you just make things worse. What is it that you want for me? Are you happy that i'm finally giving up after being strong for so long. I've decided to let everything go lord. Are you smiling away now? Are you satisfied with my performance? did i show you how strong am i? Yeah, i've got lots to thank you for, firstly splitting my family, secondly,This problem. Yknw everything, yes you do. You can't say you don't because i know i cried alot yesterday during the rally.Why did everything go so well, till now? Why am i looking for love outside? can't you give me what i need? why is see-ing only believe-ing? Why are there problems over problems? Why can't you just give me a clue on what im missing out from? Why do you have to put me through so many stages in life god, why?yknw i'm just so sick and tired. Call me back lord. I wanna go. If your not gonna call, i'm gonna call.

Baby, i deserve more than empty words and promises, I believed everything you said & i gave you the best i had.
I gave you love, yet all you gave me was pretence.
&i fucking hate you, because you made me fall, fall so hard i don't know how to get up anymore.

whoa, why you so obsessed with me?

2009-08-23T09:07:08Z

With your name engraved on my heart, how can i stop thinking of you?

DYD last night was simply the bomb okayy[: A day filled with laughter, and tears. & now finally i can breath and say it's over. Yes, thank god it is. Another problem gone [: yeahuh, reached home, and knocked out, yes w/o bathing, str8 to the bed! woke up and went to shower around 3am, then went back to bed. I'm currently bumming at home. i know this is bad, but im lazy to go for mass ]]:
Suppose to accompany syng to buka, but i'm lazy to travel to bedok. hurrr. I'll accompany him soon.
Mommy & Step-daddy's home with me, michie just returned. Brought cheesecake home. yiippie. Gonna makan then sleep.

renamemylove @ 2009-08-19T21:36:00

2009-08-19T15:54:29Z

HEEHAW SEESAW

Horla, went school late today, OVERSLEPT ): woke up by botak boy's call! hehe, so yes hurry rushed, and left home for school.
Reached school and went fer lessons,lessons today was quite good(: bohring, but made better thanks to the gereks! hmm, SBM was the bomb, eva laughed till her face went red, first time sial! hahaha.hmm yeah, went to meet botak boy after school, was supposed to go home with himm, butt! haha, yeah went home w my bbygerls instead! (: Reached home, and mummy was home! so yes, lepaked around, and then botak boy called, talked to that boy till like 8 plus, then ahyeen called, talked to her awhile then cleaned my wholeee room w mummy, and watching singapore idol. Hmm, then went to shop with mama, then came home, and on the phone with that boy again! nonsence lar he. Graduation photo tomorrow! Hmmm, the terms coming to an end! so fasttt. I should start paying attention in class(:
Alright, i'm gonna talk to boy, and fall asleep! see you when i see you machas! (:
lastly,

HAPPY 48TH BIRTHDAY MOMMY,I LOVE YOU.

renamemylove @ 2009-08-17T21:33:00

2009-08-17T13:47:14Z

With friends like this, how can you bear to shed a tear?

MONDAY
OMG this is plain weird, my lappie's been hanging/lagging for like the first time? lol. Lappies these days! haiiyoo.I can only say that much.School was alright today, bby eva came back from her week's MC:D Missed her crehzey, had to listen to the boring lecturer's voice fer like hours!i was like dam nantok! lucky had sweets, i suppose that kept everyone awaka CA decided to let us off early, so ended half an hour early. Hmmm, not bad! the bad thing is there's PE tomorrow, fer like the first two hours somemore. Crazyy, Graduation photo this thursday.hmm. Well, i enjoy school and i wish it wont have to end, but sometimes i just hate school so much. Hmm. it's been 16 years of my life, thank-you God for giving me this long. & yes, the night is boring but i've got entertainment thanks to my Number 09 boy!

Alrighttt, time to go pack bag, wash-up & lie on the bed, cus botak boy's gonna be calling at 10.00PM sharppp.

renamemylove @ 2009-08-17T00:11:00

2009-08-16T16:15:58Z

I'm holding on to what i have left.

SUNDAY(:

My day was awesome, went out fer mass in the morning, Then headed fer SALT, new faces and old ones! (: went fer lunch after that! BKBKBKBK(: went out with my babies hurrr. yknw i dun feel like journalling.

FAMILY CRISIS ): I DOWAN!

renamemylove @ 2009-08-15T22:33:00

2009-08-15T14:53:22Z

HOLA MACHAS!
Saturday! headed out to church fer meeting, then went to service my phone, it finally decided to bid me goodbye. After holding on fer so long, Nokia jjust couldn't take it, Well baby, i understand the pain i've put you through, We'll rest well till tuesday atleast(: HEHE! nonsence sia i. Hmm, heading down to SFX tomorrow, collect DYD shirts, then back to saint anne's fer mass and SALT!(:So much fer catching up on my sleep, Anna came over, and woke me XD ughh! well!
Yes, so watched Liar Liar, and some stupid Vasantham star 09 shitzxz,, fucking funny luyhh. All wanna step Singers TAK JADI BODOH!
Mummy's home! OMG MY FAV SONG PLAYING ON RADIO (: I liokeee (!!)
K lor, i nk gi buat keje aku, nk gi iron baju untuk bsok, pagi2 mesti agun, malas oiii!
kk,lastly i haven't been able to get over this line

"GUA LOVE MATREP OIII"

renamemylove @ 2009-08-15T02:37:00

2009-08-14T19:41:01Z

I hate you so much,why do you have to ruin everything for me. I wish i never had you in my life! i wish i never knew you! you want me to chnage right! Fine, imma change. your gonna regret it. I'll make sure you wish you never spoke to me! I HATE YOU.

renamemylove @ 2009-08-14T16:50:00

2009-08-14T10:25:30Z

WAKAWWWW

sadly the week has to end): well! Gerek's would know whyy.So yes yes, school was pure AWESOMEE fer the week, looking back it has been a week of fun despite the tiredness and the boring teachers voice! Looking on the bright side, the breaks, & Toilet breaks were fun.Would have been more fun if bby eva was in school, missed that little devils voice. Well, i cannot wait for school on monday! I mean the going back to meet my friends, Weekends are always packed w stuffs, gahh i just hate it! I'd rather be in school. So yes, i havent had any plans, i doubt i wanna have any, i wanna stay home and catch up on my sleep. weeii staying home is fun okayy (:
Mommy's birthday is coming, like very very soon (: must go shopping for her gifttt. hmmm. PENAT OIII.
K lahh, skrng aku banyakk lapa, i nk gi masak2, abeh i nk tunggu botak boy msg, abeh i nk call dier. AKU SUKEEE!(:
I'm talking cock, i'm just tired, and bored so tired+Bored= TALK COCK! (:

renamemylove @ 2009-08-11T23:09:00

2009-08-11T15:18:12Z

Hola Machas!
School was pure bohh-ring.Most of the Gerek's didn't come, and PE was just plain... Yknw what i mean. So yes, POA was alright Sheila came, walked around most of the time, & BEO was like -.-" just save it man!
Yes, only 4 hours of school,The only thing that made my day was the fact that i got to see my BOTAK BOY!<33
So yes, Hopefully full strength fer the gerek's cus lesson's are freaking longg tomorrow!
Oh yes, Something dam dam scary happened when i was alone at home, Thank god baby smurf was there to company me! So yes, fell asleep on him ): haaa. Well! Woke up & Webcammed with that, ordered macs fer both me and michie.Jie jie came home, and bother hooked the lappie and i was alone, so i decided to cam-whore with bobbby(:
Mummy came home with Step-daddy, and i brought bobbie down with him.. Heee! (: Talked bike with him, andd andd it seems like if i pass my licences, he's gonna pay fer half of my bike! haaa! i wanna get sports bike! Abit too early to say uh. So yes, talked with him about this guy,seems like its best to forget, move on. Well, i mean who knows better right. Whatever! It's just a guy.. well, not excatly.
Gahhhhhh!

[So yes, i never intended to leave a part fer you, well guess i'm doing it now, i didn't know how to start a convo with you on this topic so figured this would be better, hmmm, yes2, I got to know not long ago, chatted, texted & voomp, you made me smile even when my fever made me frown.Enjoyed your company, infact i looked forward to it, well! what can i say, you were too good to be true? I knew that you wouldn't stay fer long. Told myself that you can't be the one,guess my hearts too stubborn. Ha! you were good, I don't even know if i loved you? maybe i did, wait i think i did, but not to the extend.Well, it doesn't matter. I just find it so hard to speak to you now. Good day love.]

renamemylove @ 2009-08-10T10:47:00

2009-08-10T03:55:56Z

Now your gone, i caused this upon myself, now all i can do is to sit and stare at the stupid call that i made to you.

National day was alright, went for mass then went to compass for lunch with Audrey & guys, then met up with Deidre and Maria. Left fer Aaron's place, reached there and slacked, played wii, then left fer gilly's place, met her and the guys and then headed back to my place, went to get food and all, then watched the parade at my place followed by Singapore Idol, well, the after part was jusy ----ed up.

sorry gillian, yknw what i mean, but thank you for being there for me.
XOXO! i love you baby,

renamemylove @ 2009-08-09T05:22:00

2009-08-08T23:19:59Z

Goodmorning macha's!
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY

well, this is pure retarded exchanged wishes with that boy at midnight.
~~Doesn't mean anything right?~~
yes, i'm up, and it's only 0628am in the morning, my throats killing me, and it's causing the lack of sleep. Damm!this cannot go on):

Dear throat, please get better baby don't hurt me? i'll not shout in future. please get well?

yes yes, like my throats gonna ever hear me. Aaron's ton-ing with his friend, and company-ing me(: talked to him about stuffs and kinda figured my way out thru this problem.
Well im not gonna keep my hopes high, but your just gonna be my sweet drug:D

[I'd love you with no strings attached, i'd love you with nothing in return, for you to make me smile, i cannot keep lying to myself to say that your not the one.I won't say that i love you,yet, but, i know it's good enough to say that i want you to be the one fer me.]

renamemylove @ 2009-08-08T22:29:00

2009-08-08T15:42:19Z

Spent almost the whole day in bed, and played my lappie the whole dayy.
Got my afternoon entertained by my dearest DANIEL(: Thank you darlinggg.played games with him, played tic tac toe & Uno, i lost tic tac toe, while he won ): & Then i won Uno while HE LOST!:D then that boy left fer soccer and i went to get my nap, woke up and watched tv(: Mass tmwr at 11. Gonna see my babies! 1 week alrdy okayyyy.
Maybbe fireworks w eva bby, then Watch up with that darling eva again on monday& then its back to school with my kaki gerek & guys, obviously, MY BOTAK BOYYYY:D

Goodnight Hunnehhyyys.

renamemylove @ 2009-08-08T12:39:00

2009-08-08T06:04:58Z

renamemylove @ 2009-08-08T08:44:00

2009-08-08T02:11:14Z

So yes, my friday sucked, went to CGH early in the morning, got quarantined and came home and slept till like 6 plus, then gilly came over! oh like thank god okay. Finally got out of my bed for like few mintues,then went back to sleep till like 10 plus.. woke up, gilly fed me, then went back to sleep, woke up to send her. Then went back to sleep,so yes practically slept thru my friday. gahhhh. so i'm on MC till the 13th. gahhh bullshit man. I'm gonna miss shool crazyyy. & Def botak boyyyy ):
I'm gonna go back to sleep. Goodnight macha's!

Is it me or you?

2009-08-06T12:02:26Z

I haven't uploaded in a dam dam long while,finally logged into livejournal. Hmm National Day's coming, but i've got no plans.GAHH. Anyone wanna bring me out? hmmm. School was bad today, maybe cause i was sick. Anyways, new module's kinda hard i really needa cach up. School's ending in November, Comming super soon, class phone either on the 17 -21 August.
Oh yes, finally cutted my hair, Concave luh seyy. Hmmm, i think it looks weird but everyone says it suits me better, so..maybe i just needa get used to it.OMG, 91.3 is farking funny luh, kena plug all. wthh. Had majjor high fever this afternoon, came home and slept all the way till 5 plus. Took a cold shower and now my fever's gone down. Anyways, school tomorrow, looking forward to it. I wanna see BOTAK BOY:D Hmmm yes yes, I miss my kaki gerek! School tomorrow's gonna be awesome okayyy! :D
I'm off to do something. i don't even know what but im gonna find something to do (!!)

I (L) God
where botak boyyyyyyy?

renamemylove @ 2009-07-08T21:33:00

2009-07-08T14:43:33Z

Office skills idiots^^

This photo was taken last term, now everyone's changed so much, for the better that is[:

School's was awesome, school's been great since it started, nothing bad. Lesson's more packed now, don't like my timetable, but i suppose i'll get used to it. Had first lesson of SBM today, and my lecture's funny shit. The groups been expanding, and im enjoying, before and now. The fun thing is, my lesson's always on the 4th floor and maybe only once a week on the 3rd? yeahh. New modules are fun, better than previous, but more theory leh. whatever, lectures are like..../=
well, i just hope to do well luh, i've got a few more months left with OE,and i might just miss them. Definately gonna miss Eva,Mona,Gillian,Lira,Ahyeen,Kenah,Izwan, Sheila, Min..and many more luhhh.

i feel like shouting and venting my anger and shoutingggg
anybody wanna be there for me?/ guess not.

renamemylove @ 2009-07-02T16:01:00

2009-07-02T08:05:07Z

Where is the love?

Afternoon[:
Prolly heading out with Michie & BlindMice for a movie,Drag me to hell,than prolly shopping with them.
Yes, i know like finally an outing with both my sisters, however i doubt this outing is gonna comr true thou.
we'll just watch and see.

XOXO
Sueee.

your just simply unpredictable.

2009-06-30T15:09:38Z

Have you ever been in a situation where you love someone, well actually you don't even know if it's called love. You see, i've been going through so much nonsence that i'm rather lost in this huge population.
The world's suffering so much, Crisis after crisis, Currently, H1N1 is screwing everyone's life big time.
Somehow i really pity thoese qurantined over at CGH and wherenot.The way michie tells me their stories, i can help but feel upset.
I wonder what will i do if i'm qurantined. Oh! wasn't i on the topic of love, so yes going back to it, yes, you see i don't know if he's the right one for me. I hate how some people can be so ignorant about other people's presence. Like do you not care so much? whatever.
So yes, enjoyed myself on Sunday, loved [X10] the company, somehow looking forward to this Saturday, meeting them again.
I'm so bored staying home, i need to go out, but i'm just so lazy to get my ass outta the house, i mean why bother pressing the lift button, than wait at the bustop for the bus... and blahhh it goes on, while you can just stay home, blow air-con and watch tv and eat whatever thats stored in the cupboard.
The bad thing about staying home thou is that you'll tend to put on weight, and yes i did put on weight, gahhhh!
I need the fats anyways.

So yes, School's started for many, I'll be returning back to school next week. Excited much[: i miss Eva like truckloadssss.

i wish for many things/

2009-06-27T18:21:19Z

Life's been full of up & downs, well i guess thats's just human's life. We all serve our purpose here on Earth, don't we?
God's been putting me thru many test, which involves testing my patience & tolerence level, not leaving my sprtual strength out.
Well, i know this is just the starting.

My day's been getting slack-er & slack-er-re, been spending time at home with Jesse.
Michie's been on night shift, haven't really spent time with her, Mummy's been working moring, which means thumbs up, cause there's company.
Haven't seen daddy in awhile, wonder how he's coping ):
I kinda miss him, i wish i i treasured the times where daddy was with us.
I miss daddy moving around in this house, and i kinda miss daddy nagging.
I feel like eating daddy's cooking once more.
I don't know whats planned for the future, but i'm leaving each day like i'm never gonna face the next.
Stephy's birthday passed, and micheal's dead, Gina's birthday last night, was simply aweeeeesome!
dance-ed & partied like crehhhzeyyy.
Met up w old ones, met new ones. Let with Tiffo,&liz.
Caught up with Liz, than she decided to come over to my placed, hahhaa slept ratherrrr late.
Woke up and she was gone! haaaa. i was like " OMGGG WHERE'S LIZZZ? " than i saw her messaged.
haaaa,Mass& SALT with her tomorrow. Finally SALT-ing after soooo longg.
Had meeting today, saw banders, spilled bandgung on the wall(:
hmmm, nothing much actually today. Some personal shit happened..
BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Headed over to Angie's around 11 plus, Dranked a bit, Played a lil, Tribute to Micheal yet again.
Cried a lil too.[all for MJ]
That's about all, well you've gotta agree that life's a bitch!
My bed's calling me(:

Goodnight world!
Susannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaa(:

In the night, i hear you calll...

2009-06-23T15:32:18Z

Coldest story ever told.

So i've been spending the day home, with Blind Mice (Jesse),Sangeet (shorty).
Fun & more fun [:
So yes, Mummy came home from single shift, than we all went for early dinner, bought some snacks
Fetched michie from work under the block and went t get stuffs from 7-11.
Came home and tee-veed!

Honestly, your freaking stuck up,i'm sick & tired of responding to your call, you think you rule over me, who am i to you?
Why should i abide to all your rules?you always expect me to be at your back&neck.
& you can choose to be rude as when you want.Your plain sensitive, you overpower me all the time.
With you, you've got friends who'll back you up whenever you wanna shout at me, but who do i have?
No one actualy powers my mouth, or i dont be exceptionally rude whenever your with your company.
I don't wanna go by your rules anymore.
I'm sorry baby, but you've gone to far this tyme.

I'm not a fool, I was never one.

I hate you.

2009-06-19T04:09:59Z

Orange Juice<33!

2009-06-18T15:00:00Z

Came back from Nikki's last night, haa, enjoyed a whole lot! (:
Miss thoese backsides.
Hmmm,Outing with my dearest veryy soon! missing her whole lot(:
Webcammed with her this afternoon,catched up a lil.
HEHE.
Hmmm, so hopefully i'll stil have a father on the 22nd.
Crap, i hope everything's alright.
Please do pray yes?

What a lie

2009-06-12T12:49:02Z

I havent seen Eva dear in awhile.
(I MISS YOU VERYYY MUCHH)
well, Hopefully our plan next week works out, miss that stupid & nonsence side of her man! heehe jokes luh syng (:

Anyways, Mummy's planning to send me ove to JB fer 2 weeks to settle down and release stress.
So if everything goes on well, i guess Wednesday would be my last day in Singapore, but wait who cares? haa.
Hmm,

Your prolly busy with your other friends, i'm just waiting for you to ask me our or even to say strike a conversation without me taking the intiative.

Oh wellios, So today went for engagment party, than headed over to Nikki's.
Than spent half the day there.hmmm, great company.

Dinner later with family w/o mummy. Looking forward to it, Hopefully an happy one before anything happens tomorrow morning at 9 ): somehow i wish none of this would happen, i'm like really lacking the support to go through all this shit, where are my friends? like seriously? where are you? where are my good friends? least i know eva's there. Thank you babe. For like talking to me whenver you see me online,& always asking me out. Really, Greatly appriciated. Update me okay! i've got loads to tell you man! Haaa, weird i'm saying all this, well it's just on my wishful thinking part that she'll read.

Confirmation Camp passed not a few days ago, and somewhat Alan's session really openened my mind up.Sometimes you've just gotta appriciate whatever you've been given, not trying to make more or less outta it. You don't have to worry about anything because you can always throw yourself to God, and know that he'l love you no matter what. Not because he created you, but because you are his child and HE LOVES YOU. Kinda learn much during Confirmation Camp, got to see afew true colours, bonded with afew & Crapped with a whole lot.
Especially with Charles, haaa endles laughs la. Well, i hope the Confrimants took something home this year.
The Newsongs did good during Sin&Recon.
I didn't really feel much during confession but oh well.
My dearest Ms Martina, yes i did realise your absence and i miss you crazy, lacking of that person's voice to make the whole camp complete. I miss that girl that would hug me whenever she saw me, never treat me differently whenever anyone did because of my mistakes, The nonsence yet adorable one. I Miss you dear! we need to hang out soon alrightt!

Sometimes i wished you would be less selfish & try to see who was there for you whenever you needed someone. Myabe you wont know, Well i hope something hits you real hard till you realise that you've fucking been selfish for too long& J.S.Y.K. IT HURTS & IT'S STILL HURTING. Cause i know i loved you, like no one did, to me least. So tell me when your sorry, and tell me only when your sincerely sorry cause baby, i've grown sick of your acts dear.I'm tired of being that fool, to let you use me whenever no one's on your side, imma human and i've got feeling sweet, So hun, think twice cause it hurts.
Till than i'll be waiting.

Everythings over and done

2009-06-10T16:03:13Z

You are the reason that i breathe;

I'm sick and tired of finding excuses to cover up your busy schedule towards me, I'm tired of thinking that you still wana be there for me.
I'm sick of believing everyone's lies.Why do you have to do this to me?

renamemylove @ 2009-06-10T14:52:00

2009-06-10T07:11:12Z

Watched make it happen this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b6zSbRnc8k
I WANNA DANCE LIKE THAT FREAKING HOT LOR!
HAHAH
i shall learn!
:D